A challenge!

In a few weeks, I’ve got to deliver a sermon (kinda) that pertains to identity.  It may be bad form to tell a joke in a sermon, but the joke I’m thinking of really fits the topic.  Trouble is, it’s filthy and unfit for family audiences.

I’m sure you’ve heard the story about the  geneaologist who goes to Scotland to dig up some information on his ancestral home.  He makes it to the proper village and begins chatting up all the locals he can find.  Naturally, he reasons, the pub will be a grand place to begin his research.

After having spent several hours in the pub, he’s pretty much exhausted all of his oral history resources – all except the drunken guy in the dark corner.  With some hesitation, but with determination to finish his project, he orders a pint for himself and a pint for the other guy, then heads over to the corner to chat the guy up, find out what his story is.

As he sidles up to the drunken chap, he explains what he’s doing – searching for his roots in order to better understand his own identity. 

 “Identity!” the man shouts.  “I’ll tell ye aboot identity!  Did ye cross over that stone bridge on your way into town?  Do ye know who built it?  I did!  Wi’ me own two hands!  But do they call me Cameron the bridge builder?  No!

And did ye see the kirk down the road?  Who designed that kirk?  I did!  But do they call me Cameron the architect?  No, no they don’t!  But you go and shag ONE sheep and you’re branded for life!”

Now you can see my conundrum.  My challenge is this: can you come up with an alternative ending that does NOT involve untoward acts like bestiality, but that still packs the punch?  This is your mission, should you choose to accept it.


One Response to “A challenge!”

  1. Well, it would have to be something very bad if the guy’s identity is going to be bound up with it. I guess that’s the point: one bad deed marks you for life.

    Maybe you should just tell the joke and let the families straighten it out!

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